“I felt I really needed a bit of a pick me up after my wife ran off with her therapist so decided to give this a whizz.

I met some bloke at a works do who could do hypnotism so had him come round and give me the once over in preparation for my mental exercises.

Normally I like to listen to whale noises and the sounds of the ocean to relax but he didn’t have this so he chloraformed me instead.

I awoke some 18 hours later, rather bizarely I was completely naked except for a pair of ladies stockings and a suspender belt. I have looked through Paul McKennas’ book and can’t find any mention of this, I certainly don’t recall ever wearing this type of thing before, in fact the hypnotist must have brought them with him as there was none of that sort of thing in the flat. I’ll be buggered if I know what that was all about.

I did observe also that £180 and a carriage clock were missing, so it looks as if this chap well and truely shafted me, but he did feed the cat before he left so swings and roundabouts. Besides that’s small nuts to me, being a city trader an’ all.

I have found this book useful though some of the exercises are a bit old hat, I always enjoyed staring at myself in the mirror proclaiming how great I am anyway. I have gained a lot of confidence listening and reading this pseudo-psychology, I know for a lot of people it would be more productive and longer lasting to form positive relationships with supportive and sentient others but I’ve always despised the human race and just want a quick fix and right now.

As a result of listening to this tape and now believing I can do anything I have decided to sell up and move to Rhodesia where I’ve bought a farm and get some of the locals to work it for me for a pittance. I can’t wait ’til I go there with my enormous wodge, open the farmhouse door and tell them how great I am. Cheers McKenna.”